Mommy's Dirty little secrets

We all have them.  Things we don't bring up in conversations about parenting. Things we let slide. Things we outright hide. I am willing to share (some) of mine.  Here are my top ten dirty little secrets.

1- My kids drink too much juice and choclate milk. "How much?" you ask. I don't even know. As much as they ask for. I fought it for awhile.  Colin, my almost 3 year old, did not have juice until he was 18 months old or so, and choclate milk was only a sometimes treat. Then it get's challenging, and I just wasn't up for the challenge. I don't know how many times I have been out at a birthday party or restaurant and all they have is Juice or soda. I make the responsible choice...juice. No caffeine for my little darling. Then there is grandma's house where juice flows like fine wine in Napa Valley. Not a battle I am interested in fighting. After awhile, I decided if everyone else is going to give in and give him juice and choclate milk, I was just going to join them on the path of least resistance. By the time Andy, my now almost 2 year old, could cruise around the coffee table he was cruising on over to swipe sips of whatever his brother was having like a teenager stealing alcohol at a wedding.  I assure you it was always a sweet nip of the nectar of the toddler Gods... 

2- I actually enjoy kids programming. Before you judge too harshly, check out an episode of Phonies and Ferb. The show follows two step brothers as come up with awesome and fantastical things to do on their summer vacation.  Watch at least 5-10 episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba.  ONe is not enough to get hooked on this trippy show full of strange characters, songs which sound like they were written moments before they were tapped, and impressive celebrity guest. (Seriously, the episode about friends with Jack Black is Amaze-balls. And The Roots, Lovley Love my Family is on my Ipod). I find myself singing along to the hits of the Fresh Beat Band, and I am always ready to get up and dance to "Roll up the Map" by Sharky and Bones of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And who can watch Mr and Noodle and Elmo's skits and not at least chuckle a little bit.

3- I never wake a sleeping baby...unless they start to drift off in the car too close to home to get a full nap or successfully transfer to their bed. Then I yell and clap and cause any ruckus just to keep them up. Napping is an art form. It is so much more important than you ever know before you have kids. I need it, they need, and I feel a little guilty about my poor sleepy child drifting off as I yell "ANDY!!" at him like a crazy person, but it passes while I enjoy an hour of quite while I do chores or facebook or whatever I am up too. I get a pang of guilt when Colin yells "ANDY!!" to keep him up at night so he can keep talking to him.  After all, Colin learned that technique from me. Sorry Andy.

4- I let 100% of stains on my clothes be attributed to my children, which is only true 60% of the time...well...30% off the time. That's right, I have Peanut Butter on my shirt, and the boys ate pancakes for breakfast. Whoops, I didn't notice until I was out and about. Oh well, people understand when you have little ones.

5- Most of the things my kids do which I should be correcting, I actually think are hilarious. I am mostly trying not to crack a smile.  When I pull out Andy's coat and he runs away like I actually pulled out a loaded gun. Run Andy Run!! When Colin is pitching a fit because he can't have a toy Andy is currently playing with, and he tells me "I'm just Sad" I want to give him whatever he wants. Sassy comments coming out a 2 years olds mouth are precious. I say "It's time to change your diaper" and Colin says "NEVER!" I want to laugh out loud.

6- I hate playing Play-Doh. SO MUCH! THey want to play Play-Doh, all the time. First thing in the morning "We play Play-doh" all smiles and excitement. Crap! Okay. Here is the problems. They don't like the play doh to be mixed Once the colors have been mixed they are basically garbage.  So I have to help maintain separate colors. They can't really make anything with the Play-doh yet. so really I am sitting there making them balls to smash with their blocks, making cars, snowmen, Trees, pirate ships, fire places with stocking, animals and more which they play with. Any thing I make for one, I have to make for the other. And then must regulate if the pieces are starting to get mushed together too much. It takes 100% of my time for a minimum of 1 hour (Trying to quite anytime before one hour will leave me with two VERY sad toddlers that are still begging to play Play-Doh. UGH.) I look forward to the day they can play with out me, and I can look at them and be sad at how much they have grown and no longer need me.


7- If I have a baby sitter for any reason I will not be home early. I will drive around aimlessly to kill the last 10 minutes of baby sitting time. I am using every minute I can. Love those boys, but love a little alone time too.

One corner of the playroom

8- I wish my kids had less toys. We are so blessed to have so many people who love our boys. They are the only Grandkids ON BOTH SIDES. My house is bursting. Imagine at least one new toy every time they see their Grand mother.  They see one grandmother pretty much 1-2 times a week and there are two boys so that means 2 new toys (that is somewhere around 150 new toys a year). Plus they see their other Grandmother 1-2 times a moth and get 2-4 toys each per visit. (72 toys a year) Throw in regular gifts from Aunts, and truly spectacular Christmas and birthdays (30-40 gifts per boy per holiday), and we are looking at a new toy for every day of the year. I love how much they love the stuff they get and how sweet they are about opening them and saying thank you, but it is an overwhelming amount of stuff.

9- Part of me loves when my kids are sick.  I hate they they don't feel well, and I worry about things like fevers and developing pneumonia. BUT...I love how they want to snuggle me, and sleep on my shoulder. It gives me an excuse to snuggle up on our couch in Pajamas and watch movies all day. It gives me an excuse to hold him until he falls asleep. It's okay to let him sleep in the big bed if it is just an easy way for me to monitor his temperature. My sweet sick snuggle bunnies. I will clean up puke all day, but just drift off in my arms while I hold you as my payment.


10- I let the babies get blamed for any farts I let loose. I am somewhere with two toddler boys and there is an unpleasant smell in the air.  No one is looking at me. No holding back now folks. ;)