Gone Girl By Gillian Flynn
This is a clever mystery thriller that alternates between two sides of one story. Nick and Amy Dunne, husband and wife, tell the story of their troubled marriage, the events leading up to Amy's disappearance and the ramifications which follow. The New York City couple moves to a small Missouri town after both loosing their jobs. Amy, a once wealthy Manhattan Native, must live in Nick's hometown in the midst of a failing economy. Nick tells the story of an angry brooding wife who will never forgive him for his inadequacies. Amy tells the story of a woman trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation and who has hopes of making her marriage work even as her husband grows ever more distant and even frightening. Nick is faced with major suspicion as the investigation of the disappearance (and apparent murder) continues. Even though all the evidence points to Nick, he claims he has no idea why. Someone is telling lies.
I spent the first half of this book really disliking both characters. Nick who is so clueless about his wife and marriage. He sees Amy's annual anniversary treasure hunts as a laborious task which he is set up for fail. He would do anything to avoid them. Amy is a bit of a doormat (I even questioned how the book could be written by a woman). She has hopes of a romantic adventure every year, but pretty quickly forgives Nick's inability to complete most her clues. She understands her soulmate parents have set an unrealistic expectation of romance. Amy prides herself on never expecting her husband to be a "dancing monkey." A man who must show how his love by jumping at his woman's every beck and call. In reality, Amy is not being true to her feelings or needs. Asking your husband to respect you is not asking your husband to "dance."And still, I kept wanting to know what is next. Where the story was going. At times it was rather predictable, but always satisfying. As the book continued, we discover that Nick and Amy really do know each other better than most couples do, and probably truly belong together.
I devoured this book. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes crime books and thrillers. It is amazingly difficult to share much more without some major spoilers. If you read it let me know, we can discuss! I especially want to discuss the ending with someone!!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Book Review: The Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury
I have officially completed my first book of my 24 book goal for the year. At this pace it will be a snap. I don't know much about writing book reviews, and I rarely read them. I will take a shot though.
The Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury By: Robert Kirkman & Jay Bonansinga
This is the second book in a spinoff novel series of the Walking Dead graphic novel. It tells the story of one woman's journey through the post-zombie apocalypse world from a rag tag camp of survivors to the walled town of Woodbury. Her whole life, Lily Caul, has struggled with fear. She never had guts to do the things she wanted for herself, so gripping it caused her to run out on the pressures of an important job interview. This presents a myriad of challenges for a person surrounded daily by flesh eating zombies.
The exciting visual imageary of the zombie attacks and the terrifying since of impending doom keeps the reader turning the pages. Including, a heart-pounding zombie attack where Lily is oh-so-close to playing the heroine of four little girls. The encounter includes a huge hoard of zombies, a circus tent and quick thinking. (Later on we get the delightful visual of the Zombies who once belonged to that circus tent.) Mixed with the action, this is truly a novel about the growth of Lilly; from a scared ineffectual girl to a tough cookie, although never completely leaving the fear behind. It tells of the struggles of developing new relationships in the ruins (Do I really care about this person or just see them as my protector?) and of the maintenance of old friendships (at what point are you only hanging on because they are all that is left of your "normal" life?). It also explores fear. What fear means to Lilly, what it means in relationships and what it means for a group of survivors trying to create a society. We see how fear can make it impossible to really trust anyone. It can make a person acquiese to nearly any situation. This novel reintroduces us to an old Walking Dead comic book character who we see in a mind-blowing new light. Teaching us, in a very concrete way, how fear can control us.
If you love the Walking Dead Comic book, read this book. If you have never read the Walking Dead Comic, but you like the idea of seeing human behavior in extreme situations you will love this book. Or if you just like a good creepy crawly thriller give it a shot. Don't let fear stop you!
The Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury By: Robert Kirkman & Jay Bonansinga
This is the second book in a spinoff novel series of the Walking Dead graphic novel. It tells the story of one woman's journey through the post-zombie apocalypse world from a rag tag camp of survivors to the walled town of Woodbury. Her whole life, Lily Caul, has struggled with fear. She never had guts to do the things she wanted for herself, so gripping it caused her to run out on the pressures of an important job interview. This presents a myriad of challenges for a person surrounded daily by flesh eating zombies.
The exciting visual imageary of the zombie attacks and the terrifying since of impending doom keeps the reader turning the pages. Including, a heart-pounding zombie attack where Lily is oh-so-close to playing the heroine of four little girls. The encounter includes a huge hoard of zombies, a circus tent and quick thinking. (Later on we get the delightful visual of the Zombies who once belonged to that circus tent.) Mixed with the action, this is truly a novel about the growth of Lilly; from a scared ineffectual girl to a tough cookie, although never completely leaving the fear behind. It tells of the struggles of developing new relationships in the ruins (Do I really care about this person or just see them as my protector?) and of the maintenance of old friendships (at what point are you only hanging on because they are all that is left of your "normal" life?). It also explores fear. What fear means to Lilly, what it means in relationships and what it means for a group of survivors trying to create a society. We see how fear can make it impossible to really trust anyone. It can make a person acquiese to nearly any situation. This novel reintroduces us to an old Walking Dead comic book character who we see in a mind-blowing new light. Teaching us, in a very concrete way, how fear can control us.
If you love the Walking Dead Comic book, read this book. If you have never read the Walking Dead Comic, but you like the idea of seeing human behavior in extreme situations you will love this book. Or if you just like a good creepy crawly thriller give it a shot. Don't let fear stop you!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
I hope you have the time of your life
Time controls us. It dictates what we do. It demonstrates what is most important to us. There is a vocabulary of time. We apologize with, "I just need to do this real quick," "This will only take five minutes." We commiserate with one another saying "Not enough hours in the day," or "I'm running a little late." When we are looking forward to something we say "I can't wait" or "It goes by in the blink of an eye" We break down our routines and activities into compartments of time. Shower=10 mins, Getting ready= 30 mins, Workout= 40 min, Mass=1 hour, TV show=1 hour. We know how long it takes us to drive to places we go often; how many minutes to the store, to work, to our family and friend's houses. Minutes are the building blocks of our life. We know the value of our time. We know it is precious. We know it is fleeting. And yet, it drags. We try to find ways to "kill time." Call to your mind the last ten minutes of work on a slow day. Seems like an hour, right? People say every moment is precious, but realistically we all have several moments a day that we do not treasure. For example, I have changed 5 poopy diapers this morning. I did not treasure ever second. It is this juxtaposition I find so interesting. Where and how do we find balance?
Let's stop saying "real quick." There are few things that you truly want to do real quick. It certainly is not the most effective way to do things. It only serves to make you feel like you are racing the clock. Everyone knows that there are a number of tasks which need to be completed. If you need to finish one of those tasks just give a realistic time estimate. Don't say "I just have to shower real quick" Try "I need about 10 minutes to take a shower." Don't say "I need to send this email real quick" Try "I need to send an email, it won't take longer than 5 minutes." Sure it does not actually create more time, but really who wants to feel like they are always rushing to complete tasks "real quick"?
If you are a person who is late to things, this thought may help. It sounds simple, but here it is. Have a realistic idea of the amount of time it takes to do things, and continually make adjustments. You need to know how long it really takes you to do your hair. Time your self. Maybe it used to take you 10 minutes, but now you have a new hair do and it takes 20. I had an employee once who was late to work at least 3 days a week. Sometimes by a few minutes, sometimes by 15 minutes or more. At her yearly review, we discussed this problem. She explained it was not any one thing that made her late. Sometimes it was traffic, sometimes it was parking, sometimes it was the line at security. On days she was on time, all those things went smoothly. Unfortunately, those things were out of her control, and she just didn't know what she could do about that. I smiled and said "Have you considered leaving your house 15 minutes earlier?" It was like a light bulb turned on. She was not thinking of it that way. She was thinking "It should take me 20 minutes to get to work" and would stress about all those variables that were making her late. It was really frustrating to her and to me. After our talk she adjusted her time, it takes 35 minutes to get to work. All the sudden, she was usually on time. a couple days here or there she would arrive 10 minutes early. Those days she would chat with the lady at the store across from us, stop and grab a snack from the food court, or just clock in and start a few minutes early. She was less stressed and I was happy. Personally, I have learned to add and additional 15 minutes onto my travel time now that I have two kids. Used to take me 10 minutes to get to church. If I left the house at 9:20, I was there by 9:30. Now I have to leave at 9:05. Here is the beautiful thing, if you leave a larger amount of time and everything runs smoothly, you have extra time. Like magic, time you did not think you would have. Pull out that smart phone and check Facebook (or read an actual book), call your mom, paint your nails, tidy the kitchen, play some peek-a-boo! Whatever you want it is FREE!
If you can get a good grasp on how long things take you, you can figure out how much time you have to do everything. I started keeping a schedule. Not just a schedule, it is The Schedule. It sounds crazy, but I put EVERYTHING on it. My husband's work schedule, times to complete housework, doctors appointments, play dates, swim classes, gym time, church, Mary Kay time, etc. It sounds super Type A, but here is why I like it. I start to find little pockets of free time. I get to see what my free time is, and I get to choose how I spend it. I am determining what is most important to me and dedicating my time to it. Things don't just get done. We don't just think, "Oh I would love to do more for my community" and then magically we are volunteering regularly. If it is not important enough to me to schedule it, then it probably isn't going to get done. If I want to watch the Football playoffs, I put it on The Schedule. If I don't, there is a good chance that time will get sucked up by other activities. We need a plan. Winging it can work. You can get by, but we are dealing with our valuable time here. Just getting by is not enough. When I "wing it," I feel like my free time gets sucked up by Facebook, or TV or any other number of meaningless activities. Our lives, our time cannot be balanced if we are reacting to whatever needs to be done, then recovering from the chaos by vegging out on the couch. We need to be proactive. Take laundry for example. I mention laundry because it is a huge task that I hate to do. I have a tendency to avoid it, and then spend a ton of time catching up on it when my family runs out of clothes. Maybe it is something different for you, but for me the biggest chore I need to schedule for is laundry. If I schedule it, I don't have to spend my entire Saturday washing and putting away laundry because, by Saturday, it is done. I can schedule four 10 minute steps into each day. In the morning after I get ready before the boys are up I gather laundry & take it down stairs. Step 2, After breakfast, run downstairs put a load in the wash. A lot of the time we are going out at this time of day, so I can do it as we leave the house. Step 3, before lunch (usually as we return to the house I move the load into the dryer. Step 4, at the beginning of nap time, I fold(usually while enjoying some show I have on my DVR) and put away. It doesn't take long because it is only one load. Just like that, my Saturday is Laundry free. I don't leave chores for time I want to spend hanging out with my family, doing something creative or enriching my mind or spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have it all figured out. But I am getting better. I want to have actual quality time. Time that I am spending the way I choose. Time to spend bettering my self, bettering my relationships, and creating memories. So much of our time must be spent doing things like working, sleeping, eating and doing meaningless tasks. We need to claim our treasured moments. We need to sift through all the "have to's" and rescue the "get to's" from the ashes. As a SAHM, I love the saying "The days are long, but the years are short." There is so much good stuff to hold on to. I, for one, do not want to squander those moments on laundry and Facebook.
SIDE NOTE: I LOVE Facebook. I mean LOVE. I just don't want it to be a time sucking black hole! Everything in moderation.
Let's stop saying "real quick." There are few things that you truly want to do real quick. It certainly is not the most effective way to do things. It only serves to make you feel like you are racing the clock. Everyone knows that there are a number of tasks which need to be completed. If you need to finish one of those tasks just give a realistic time estimate. Don't say "I just have to shower real quick" Try "I need about 10 minutes to take a shower." Don't say "I need to send this email real quick" Try "I need to send an email, it won't take longer than 5 minutes." Sure it does not actually create more time, but really who wants to feel like they are always rushing to complete tasks "real quick"?
If you are a person who is late to things, this thought may help. It sounds simple, but here it is. Have a realistic idea of the amount of time it takes to do things, and continually make adjustments. You need to know how long it really takes you to do your hair. Time your self. Maybe it used to take you 10 minutes, but now you have a new hair do and it takes 20. I had an employee once who was late to work at least 3 days a week. Sometimes by a few minutes, sometimes by 15 minutes or more. At her yearly review, we discussed this problem. She explained it was not any one thing that made her late. Sometimes it was traffic, sometimes it was parking, sometimes it was the line at security. On days she was on time, all those things went smoothly. Unfortunately, those things were out of her control, and she just didn't know what she could do about that. I smiled and said "Have you considered leaving your house 15 minutes earlier?" It was like a light bulb turned on. She was not thinking of it that way. She was thinking "It should take me 20 minutes to get to work" and would stress about all those variables that were making her late. It was really frustrating to her and to me. After our talk she adjusted her time, it takes 35 minutes to get to work. All the sudden, she was usually on time. a couple days here or there she would arrive 10 minutes early. Those days she would chat with the lady at the store across from us, stop and grab a snack from the food court, or just clock in and start a few minutes early. She was less stressed and I was happy. Personally, I have learned to add and additional 15 minutes onto my travel time now that I have two kids. Used to take me 10 minutes to get to church. If I left the house at 9:20, I was there by 9:30. Now I have to leave at 9:05. Here is the beautiful thing, if you leave a larger amount of time and everything runs smoothly, you have extra time. Like magic, time you did not think you would have. Pull out that smart phone and check Facebook (or read an actual book), call your mom, paint your nails, tidy the kitchen, play some peek-a-boo! Whatever you want it is FREE!
If you can get a good grasp on how long things take you, you can figure out how much time you have to do everything. I started keeping a schedule. Not just a schedule, it is The Schedule. It sounds crazy, but I put EVERYTHING on it. My husband's work schedule, times to complete housework, doctors appointments, play dates, swim classes, gym time, church, Mary Kay time, etc. It sounds super Type A, but here is why I like it. I start to find little pockets of free time. I get to see what my free time is, and I get to choose how I spend it. I am determining what is most important to me and dedicating my time to it. Things don't just get done. We don't just think, "Oh I would love to do more for my community" and then magically we are volunteering regularly. If it is not important enough to me to schedule it, then it probably isn't going to get done. If I want to watch the Football playoffs, I put it on The Schedule. If I don't, there is a good chance that time will get sucked up by other activities. We need a plan. Winging it can work. You can get by, but we are dealing with our valuable time here. Just getting by is not enough. When I "wing it," I feel like my free time gets sucked up by Facebook, or TV or any other number of meaningless activities. Our lives, our time cannot be balanced if we are reacting to whatever needs to be done, then recovering from the chaos by vegging out on the couch. We need to be proactive. Take laundry for example. I mention laundry because it is a huge task that I hate to do. I have a tendency to avoid it, and then spend a ton of time catching up on it when my family runs out of clothes. Maybe it is something different for you, but for me the biggest chore I need to schedule for is laundry. If I schedule it, I don't have to spend my entire Saturday washing and putting away laundry because, by Saturday, it is done. I can schedule four 10 minute steps into each day. In the morning after I get ready before the boys are up I gather laundry & take it down stairs. Step 2, After breakfast, run downstairs put a load in the wash. A lot of the time we are going out at this time of day, so I can do it as we leave the house. Step 3, before lunch (usually as we return to the house I move the load into the dryer. Step 4, at the beginning of nap time, I fold(usually while enjoying some show I have on my DVR) and put away. It doesn't take long because it is only one load. Just like that, my Saturday is Laundry free. I don't leave chores for time I want to spend hanging out with my family, doing something creative or enriching my mind or spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have it all figured out. But I am getting better. I want to have actual quality time. Time that I am spending the way I choose. Time to spend bettering my self, bettering my relationships, and creating memories. So much of our time must be spent doing things like working, sleeping, eating and doing meaningless tasks. We need to claim our treasured moments. We need to sift through all the "have to's" and rescue the "get to's" from the ashes. As a SAHM, I love the saying "The days are long, but the years are short." There is so much good stuff to hold on to. I, for one, do not want to squander those moments on laundry and Facebook.
SIDE NOTE: I LOVE Facebook. I mean LOVE. I just don't want it to be a time sucking black hole! Everything in moderation.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
New Years Resolutions
Let me begin this post by saying that I keep my New Years resolutions. I know it is completely socially acceptable to make them and keep them for a month, a week or less. But I keep mine. I keep them for the whole year, and usually beyond. I turn them into lifestyle choices. Why? How? Mainly it is purely being stubborn. Once I start something, I follow through. An amazing quality to have, usually. My husband will tell you I am a bear to argue with. I hate giving up on things. I will read an entire book that I hate, just to see if it gets better. I will not leave a movie early, no matter how much I am not enjoying it. I have had some friendships/relationships last way beyond what should have been their expiration dates. But, I quit smoking cold turkey a little over three years ago, no sweat. I went from NEVER running to completing my first half marathon (12 minute mile) with 5 months of training. And I keep new years resolutions.
SO here are mine:
To wish each of my Facebook friends a happy birthday on their wall.
If you are interested in a whole lotta crazy keep reading, or skip to the next resolution. up to you. I have found myself in a conundrum over the past couple of years. If I know my friends birthday then I send them a text, and write on their wall to make it "Facebook official." Great! If I am on Facebook, and I happen to notice it is a friend's birthday, awesome, I can just write on their wall right? Wrong. I realize, I can't write on the wall of the person I that I once had class with in college 10 years ago, only to realize the day before I forgot to say Happy Birthday to one of my cousins. That just seems messed up! Would they notice? Probably not, but I would feel really bad if they did. My solution, never wish people happy birthday on Facebook. This works fine, until my birthday. I get so many messages on my birthday, and I am like "Wow, I did not say happy birthday to any of these people!" This year, I have a better solution, every friend will get a wall post on their birthday. Bonus- I get the joy of spreading birthday cheer MANY MORE DAYS a year. Win win! I have had one Birthday so far so I am 1 for 1! My next test is tomorrow! Woot, woot!
To attend Mass without missing, Sundays and Holy days.
I am newly Catholic (Well, it has been 6 years now, but that is still fairly new). I had a really great mass attendance record before I had two kids (not than anyone keeps track- well maybe a few old ladies, but not officially). I have a 21 month old and an 8 month old. Since the birth of my oldest I have averaged missing about 1 mass a month. Not so great! This will take discipline to get of bed, dressed and ready on Sunday mornings. It will also take better scheduling ahead of time for Holy Days. Already made it to Solemnity of the Virgin Mary on Jan. 1st so I am 1 for 1 so far!
To do more meal planning, at least 2 weeks every month.
It is unrealistic to say I will do this every week successfully, even though I would like to believe I could do it. It has been frustrating to me that I have been unable to do better about dinners in my house. My husband and I both are perpetually trying to eat healthier, and I know meal planning would help us achieve it. Not to mention it would save us money. AND it is really important for me to teach my children good healthy eating habits. I am going to buckle down and DO it at least half the time. If I do that, then next year I will go for meal planning ever week!!
To read 24 books this year.
My husband thinks this is crazy! I think it is very doable. I figure I can read 2 books a month. This is a big reason for this blog. I have a mini book club (currently consisting of me, 1 other person and one more potential member). I want an additional place to share my thoughts. Be prepared, I read great works of literature and really crappy poolside summer reading. I LOVE BOTH! I am currently reading Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens and The Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury by Robert Kirkman. Feel free to join me if you like!
To follow up with my clients in a timely manor.
I sell Mary Kay. I love it, but I am not great about following up with new clients. I need to improve this. It is important, and I am trying not to put my only professional outlet on the back burner!
So here is to a new year. 2013! I hope it is amazing. I believe it will be challenging. I know it will be full of personal growth. I hope you enjoy my journey.
SO here are mine:
To wish each of my Facebook friends a happy birthday on their wall.
If you are interested in a whole lotta crazy keep reading, or skip to the next resolution. up to you. I have found myself in a conundrum over the past couple of years. If I know my friends birthday then I send them a text, and write on their wall to make it "Facebook official." Great! If I am on Facebook, and I happen to notice it is a friend's birthday, awesome, I can just write on their wall right? Wrong. I realize, I can't write on the wall of the person I that I once had class with in college 10 years ago, only to realize the day before I forgot to say Happy Birthday to one of my cousins. That just seems messed up! Would they notice? Probably not, but I would feel really bad if they did. My solution, never wish people happy birthday on Facebook. This works fine, until my birthday. I get so many messages on my birthday, and I am like "Wow, I did not say happy birthday to any of these people!" This year, I have a better solution, every friend will get a wall post on their birthday. Bonus- I get the joy of spreading birthday cheer MANY MORE DAYS a year. Win win! I have had one Birthday so far so I am 1 for 1! My next test is tomorrow! Woot, woot!
To attend Mass without missing, Sundays and Holy days.
I am newly Catholic (Well, it has been 6 years now, but that is still fairly new). I had a really great mass attendance record before I had two kids (not than anyone keeps track- well maybe a few old ladies, but not officially). I have a 21 month old and an 8 month old. Since the birth of my oldest I have averaged missing about 1 mass a month. Not so great! This will take discipline to get of bed, dressed and ready on Sunday mornings. It will also take better scheduling ahead of time for Holy Days. Already made it to Solemnity of the Virgin Mary on Jan. 1st so I am 1 for 1 so far!
To do more meal planning, at least 2 weeks every month.
It is unrealistic to say I will do this every week successfully, even though I would like to believe I could do it. It has been frustrating to me that I have been unable to do better about dinners in my house. My husband and I both are perpetually trying to eat healthier, and I know meal planning would help us achieve it. Not to mention it would save us money. AND it is really important for me to teach my children good healthy eating habits. I am going to buckle down and DO it at least half the time. If I do that, then next year I will go for meal planning ever week!!
To read 24 books this year.
My husband thinks this is crazy! I think it is very doable. I figure I can read 2 books a month. This is a big reason for this blog. I have a mini book club (currently consisting of me, 1 other person and one more potential member). I want an additional place to share my thoughts. Be prepared, I read great works of literature and really crappy poolside summer reading. I LOVE BOTH! I am currently reading Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens and The Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury by Robert Kirkman. Feel free to join me if you like!
To follow up with my clients in a timely manor.
I sell Mary Kay. I love it, but I am not great about following up with new clients. I need to improve this. It is important, and I am trying not to put my only professional outlet on the back burner!
So here is to a new year. 2013! I hope it is amazing. I believe it will be challenging. I know it will be full of personal growth. I hope you enjoy my journey.
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